Berlin marathon – mission accomplished!

New Year's Eve 2009

31^st December 2009. We were on holiday in India (one of the best holidays of my life!) and celebrated New Year’s Eve in our favourite holiday restaurant. I’ve always been extremely goal-oriented and a planner, so for me New Year is about looking forward the year ahead and setting new goals. 2010 was looking particularly exciting. Work-wise, I had already decided to take the plunge and start out as a freelancer in the spring. Running-wise I had already registered for Etape Bornholm in July and Berlin Marathon in September. We weren’t even dreading heading home to dark, wintry Denmark as we had skiing vacation to Italy booked for a few weeks later!

Well, as you know, 2010 turned out a lot different than expected. 3 days into our ski holiday my daughter broke her leg really badly and ended up having to be operated twice. We spent 5 days in a Swiss

Chemo Kirsten 18 Oct 2010

hospital before being air-ambulanced home and she was in plaster from her hip to her toes for something like 8 weeks. She wasn’t out of plaster before I found a lump in my armpit and a few weeks after that I got a cancer diagnosis – the day before I officially started my fulltime freelance career (or was supposed to). For the remainder of 2010 I was in cancer treatment – my last radiotherapy was on 8 December and I got the “all-clear” on 18 December.

On 31^st December 2010 then I could once again look forward to the coming year though this time as I set my goals I was a lot less confident that I would achieve them. Cancer takes away that kind of innocence forever I guess. Nonetheless I think that my goal-oriented nature is so strong that I found it difficult to accept that I hadn’t achieved 2010’s goals, so for 2011 my goals were to start working from 1 January and get that freelance career off the ground, and to run Etape Bornholm and Berlin Marathon. Considering the physical and mental state I was in at that point (totally physically debilitated and suffering something like post-traumatic shock probably about covers it) these goals were fairly outrageously ambitious – mad even!

When I read back over my blog posts during this year, I’m not sure I have really communicated how much of a struggle it has been for me to get in shape to run a marathon in just 9 months. But as well as my goal orientation I have been blessed with a “cup half-full” nature so I mostly chose to focus on the progress is was making! Inside myself though, I have really had doubts about what I was doing and whether there was any chance I could do it.

So, it might have taken a whole year longer than originally intended, but the level of satisfaction at having actually accomplished those goals I set on 31 December is something like a zillion times higher than it would have been if it had gone according to plan. As I crossed the finish line in Berlin last Sunday, after running the whole god dam 42.2 km in 4 hours, 28 minutes and 48 seconds, it was an unbelievably, overwhelmingly, fantastic feeling.

Berlin Marathon 2011

Thanks to everyone who has backed me up, sent me good wishes and encouraging comments and not least helped me to raise 5000 kroner  for cancer support and research.

And just in case you are wondering, I already have some new goals, but that is for another blog post!

From chemo to Berlin marathon – the final countdown

Well, here we are, one day of work to go and then we head off to Berlin. I guess I’m ready for it, though I feel very differently than I have done the other times I’ve run marathons. Even hubbie remarked the other evening that I was acting a bit weird. When pressed for what he meant he said that the other times I’ve been totally paranoid including being totally hysterical about what I ate, alcohol probably wouldn’t have passed my lips for weeks, and I would be totally freaking out about germs and any little ache or pain. As we had this conversation I was in the midst of my second “almost” hangover of the weekend, a weekend where I had been totally overindulging in all kinds of goodies, and well these days freaking out over aches and pains is a totally everyday part of my life, it’s just that these days I automatically think that its cancer and not some marathon preventing injury, so no weird behaviour there! So I guess I got his point.

It’s not that I’m not looking forward to it. I’m totally looking forward to my weekend in Berlin. It’s just that its more in a “looking forward to a long weekend in Berlin” kind of looking forward, rather than a “oh my god I have to run a marathon, what the hell was I thinking” kind of looking forward.

Part of it is that the other times I’ve had quite an ambitious time goal – 3:30 to be precise – a goal I have so far not actually met. This time I have no idea whether I’ll be 30, 60 or (oh I hope not!) 90 minutes longer on the job and since my goal is simply to finish, then I don’t really care (though obviously I’m hoping for closer to 30 than 90!). Otherwise my goal is simply to enjoy it and have a good time, and to be honest whether or not I had a glass of wine too many last weekend is going to make any difference! (I will try to restrain myself to a single glass this Saturday evening in case you are wondering – there is a limit to how casually I’m taking this).

Another part of it is that I have simply lost my fear of the discomfort and pain. It’s not that I don’t think there is going to be any – in fact I expect that there is possibly going to be more than the other times since I’m not in nearly as good shape and I’m going to be out there a lot longer. It’s just that last year the levels of discomfort and pain that I experienced on a never-ending basis for months on end have kind of made the normal running related pain seem like a bit of a joke. It’s not going to last more than a short-time and I’m not going to die from it, so I might as well just smile and enjoy.  

So I guess I’m ready, in the way that I’m ready this time around. I have a growing pile of things I don’t want to forget on the guest bed. The weather forecast is perfect, sunshine and NO WIND!  

 

 

Oh, and I do have a goal to raise 5,000 kr and I’m still 650 kr from that goal. So go on, please, please, please sponsor me! I might not be able to run a 3:30 marathon, but please help me to meet this goal! http://www.betternow.org/en/project/projectskirstenejlskov

And otherwise I’ll see you on the other side! (Of the marathon that is…….)

Hurrah – I made it to 48!

A couple of days ago a friend I met when we were both having cancer treatment last year wrote (the translation is mine):

 “It was my birthday on Friday. I was 48. It was really strange because previously when I’ve celebrated my birthday it has always been with a little sadness about being a year older. It wasn’t like that at all this year. I was happy that I had become a year older. A feeling I take with me into my new year”.

It was so weird to read that because it reflected EXACTLY my own feelings. I could have written it myself. The only difference is that it is my birthday today, 5 days later, but even our age is the same!

My life is a lot different today than it was one year ago when I was at the very lowest ebb in my cancer treatment. I spent my 47^th birthday in hospital, seriously ill with septicaemia thanks to having a compromised immune system due to the chemo.  As I wrote at the time it was a special day thanks to my husband and kids who pulled out all the stops to spoil me. Looking back though, it was probably far from a happy day for them, and I feel sad that my children had that experience, though proud of how they dealt with it.

At the time I wasn’t thinking about how I would want to celebrate my 48^th birthday a year later. My main focus was getting through each day and the furthest I dared think about was the end of treatment. Today is a lot different than last year’s birthday. Normality has returned. I feel great, so great that I am going to be running a marathon in 11 days! My family are so unconcerned about me that my husband is off at a conference in the USA (but sweetly battled his jetlag to give me a birthday call first thing this morning). My son is away at boarding school this year, but left me a card with a sweet message and called me during his break this morning. My daughter and I had a special breakfast together and when she gets home from school we’re off to have a girly time of it with shopping, dinner and a movie. I might have been the centre of an overwhelming wave of love and attention last year, but boy do I prefer this kind of unconcerned normality!

So Happy Birthday to Me! And if you would like to celebrate with me that I made it to 48, you could always give a donation to my fundraising campaign;-) http://www.betternow.org/en/project/projectskirstenejlskov

More than one way to skin a cat…

Hmm, I really thought I was leading a healthy lifestyle until a read an article by the Danish health guru, Chris Macdonald (well he is actually American not Danish, but I think he is only considered a guru in Denmark!).

He reckons that to have a healthy lifestyle your exercise pattern should include (in order of priority):

• Daily moderate exercise such as walking, biking for transport, house cleaning etc. etc. equivalent to 10,000 steps a day.
• 20-30 minutes high intensity training (running, spinning etc) 3 times a week.
• An additional 2-3 times moderate intensity training 3 times per week.
• 30 minutes weight training twice a week.

(You can read the article here – though only if you can read Danish!)

Well, I definitely do the last 3 – plus some! But I really doubt I manage an equivalent daily regular low intensity exercise equivalent to 10,000 steps a day. My office is in my house, approximately 10 steps from the kitchen, and while I sometimes do go out to do errands, I live about 100 meters from the centre of my town, so I don’t think it amounts to much. I do go for a walk with my dog at least once a day, but she isn’t a big dog and we don’t go for particularly long walks. Plus I have someone come and do my cleaning! Mr. Macdonald doesn’t however mention whether exceeding on the other points makes up for failing on this one….

Anyway this was in the back of my mind during August while I was participating in a fun challenge with some friends on www.endomondo.com, which allows you to track all your physical activities (both “sport” and daily exercise including transport by bike and walking), share it with friends and have little competitions. This time our challenge was to see who could burn the most calories during the month (after our various vacation overindulgences!) and all forms of exercise were allowed. So it was interesting to track the exercise patterns of my friends based on the above. As a generalisation, I’d say most of them were doing pretty well on the first three, but apart from me don’t think anyone was doing regular weight training. All of them were doing better than me on the daily low intensity stuff, though – most of them use bikes for normal transport and commuting.  

However overall my friend, Ole, took an early lead and finally won the challenge, but I was breathing down his neck for the whole month! The interesting thing about this is that Ole almost entirely burned his 16,967 calories cycling around the city, with very little high intensity training included. I on the other hand burned my 15,637 calories almost exclusively “training” whether running, hammering it on my bike, or in the gym, without much of the day to day exercise as I mention above.  Of course Ole has a good reason to need to burn the calories because he is married to my good friend, the fabulous cook, photographer and blogger FoodyTwoShoes! But regardless of that Ole and Foody made an inspirational lifestyle choice to dump the car and cycle everywhere which Ole has written about here.

According to Mr. Macdonald however, neither Ole nor I are doing an optimal job on the exercise front, even though most people probably think we both tend to the obsessive! I’m not sure that I buy it though. Maybe he’s right in terms of statistics and research but for me the important thing is to have a balanced and happy lifestyle with exercise as a natural part of it and not as an extra duty, obligation or burden, and I’d say Ole and I – and the rest of my endomondo friends for that matter – are really good examples of that – this post is dedicated to you!

From chemo to Berlin marathon – August update

August got off to a slow start, running-wise at least, thanks to the Achilles injury I picked up at the end of July.  For the first couple of weeks I was restricted to running max 20 mins every other day, but it did the trick because I got over the injury without further problems. We have been erring on the side of caution with my training, though, to do the best we can to make sure I make it to the start line uninjured.  (By the way, this is not the royal “we” but me and my trainer, Coach Kobberø!). Overall for August the statistics look like this:

Month	#km	Average pace min/km	Comments
April 2010	132	5:07	Typical month pre-cancer treatment
October 2010	88	5:54	Last chemo on 18 Oct.
November 2010	100	5:46	First radiotherapy 15 Nov.
December 2010	49	6:08	Last radiotherapy 8 Dec.
January 2011	100	5:53
February 2011	103	5:44
March 2011	47	5:43	Injured!
April 2011	113	5:27
May 2011	98	5:32
June 2011	147	5:17
July 2011	172	5:37
Aug 2011	121	5:35

 

The pace for August is a reflection that I’m no longer focused on improving in terms of speed, but working on endurance (e.g. longer runs) and practicing running at the slower pace I will run during the marathon itself.

The fundraising is going well too and we have now raised 4,050 kr. Thanks a million to those of you who have already contributed! If you haven’t and would like to, you can do so here: http://www.betternow.org/en/project/projectskirstenejlskov (That link takes you to a version where the instructions are in English).

Delight (with an underlying bitterness)

Hurrah – on Sunday I completed my first half-marathon since I ran Broløbet last year on 11 June 2010 in a totally shell-shocked post-diagnosis but pre-treatment state. This time my mental state was definitely a lot better and supposedly my physical state too considering I had full-blown stage 2 cancer at that point and presumably I don’t at the moment. Frustrating then that it took me more than 14 minutes longer this time around, and that was me doing my best whereas for Broløbet I was taking it easy and enjoying the view. Compared to my personal best for half marathon (1:39:58) I was more than 21 minutes slower on Sunday – yep, you don’t need to be a arithmetical genius to figure out that that is a full minute slower per km.

Don’t get me wrong – I was overwhelmed that I finally managed to run a half-marathon, so much so that I burst into tears when I crossed the finish line. I’ve always loved half-marathons best out of all the racing distances and it felt great to be running it again. Plus it went well, I felt good and had no crises or strange pains or injuries underway. I just couldn’t run faster than I did. So it was a very mixed feeling. Delight at how far I’ve come since December, but with an underlying bitterness that I’m still not back to “normal” (hmm, delight with underlying bitterness sounds like a good chocolate – not that I’m fantasising about food or anything!).

For the lack of anything concrete to base it on, I think I probably imagined when I started out on my project Berlin Marathon at the beginning of the year that I would be back to something close to normal by now. How wrong I was! I wish at that point I had seen the information in the July 2011 issue of the US Runners’ World magazine which was dedicated to running and cancer (for those that are interested you can access the articles online here). Here I read that it is estimated that it normally takes about double the length of time you were in treatment to get back to post-cancer running form. For me we’re looking at spring 2012 then – still a long way off. I do try to be positive (and I think I am most of the time) but I can’t help but get angry about how that “healing” process totally devastated my body.

I’m still glad I started out on this mad marathon-running project though, even though it’s proving a lot tougher than I imagined. I believe that having Berlin as a goal has got me back on my feet much faster than I otherwise would have. However on Sunday I realised that I’m just not going to be satisfied when I complete the marathon, just as I wasn’t at completing the half-marathon. I’m going to be overwhelmed, and delighted and happy for sure, but I won’t be satisfied until I’m back in something like the form I was in before those Hodgkins nasties decided to invade.

Actually as a runner I probably won’t even be satisfied then, but at least that will be a normal kind of dissatisfaction!

Oh, and you might consider this an opportune moment to cheer me up by donating to my cause! http://www.betternow.org/projectskirstenejlskov

Marathons are also about food and clothes!

Wow, suddenly Berlin seems to be just around the corner – less than 6 weeks to go!

The good news is that I’m starting to feel confident that I can do it – as long as no disasters strike between now and then. My achilles injury seems to be history and I’m back to a more or less normal running schedule, though I’m still being careful and not overdoing it. Although this Sunday I’m planning to run my first half-marathon since Broløbet in June 2010 – just days before I started chemo. Wow, I re-reading that post just made me cry….. I can see how naive I was writing then that I was going to keep on running no matter what – and yet I did it!

I’m also busy with other marathon preparations that don’t involve my running shoes. Today I got my new running shirt for the big day! I have been told that wearing a Denmark shirt provokes lots of support from spectators at Berlin marathon. However I have been going through moral turmoil about whether it was appropriate for me a Scot to run in a Denmark shirt – though Denmark has been my home for 22 years. I ended up consulting my husband (Danish) and one of my friends (also a Brit resident in Denmark) and both thought it was acceptable, so I’m going to go for it! It helps that it is red – my favourite colour.

The other thing that is pre-occupying me at the moment is food! A runner uses more than 30,000 steps to run a marathon which puts a huge pressure on the knees. They reckon that for each kg you lose you not only reduce the pounding on your knees, but you gain 1-3 seconds per km which is really quite a big deal. The bad news is that at the moment I weigh more than I have done for years! For many years I have maintained the same weight +/- 1 kg. I even managed to do that through my cancer treatment despite my horrible eating problems. But since I finished treatment my new laid back personality has also had an influence on my eating. I still eat just as healthily as I did before most of the time, but for example on holiday I didn’t hold myself back at all! The result is I now have the same weight as always +3kg (though it was +4kg just after my holidays!). So now I’m trying to get rid of the +3 kg before Berlin, but it’s a bit of a challenge to do that while also training hard!

On the fundraising front I have now raised 3000kr! Thanks to those of you who have contributed. If you haven’t done so yet, you can click here: http://www.betternow.org/projectskirstenejlskov. It would be wonderful if you also spread the word to your network through facebook, twitter etc.

A close shave

No, I’m not talking about my body hair – though I must admit that more than a few times this summer I have thought longingly about last summer when it wasn’t only by head hair that disappeared and wearing short skirts was totally unproblematic!

No, I’m talking about the injury to my Achilles tendon during Etape Bornholm last week, which was a bit worrying with 8 weeks to go to my marathon, particularly considering that Achilles injuries are notorious for being difficult to get rid of.

Believe it or not this is in fact the fifth time I have planned to run a marathon, though I have only made it to the start line twice (and completed twice)!  The first time I signed up for a marathon was for Copenhagen in May 2007. 6 weeks before the big day I got an iliotibial band injury which I stubbornly kept on running on and not only couldn’t run the marathon, but couldn’t run at all for 2 months. I was pretty devastated, so when I decided to sign up for Copenhagen Marathon again in May 2008 I didn’t take any chances. That time I made it to the start line without any problems and had a fantastic marathon experience.

The following year (2009) I signed up for the New York Marathon. Training went well again that time, but 3 weeks before the big day I managed to get a stomach virus (thanks to a colleague who brought his sick kid to the office) which developed into a lung infection. I ran the marathon anyway, but definitely wasn’t in top form and it was a really tough experience and didn’t come anywhere near the new personal record I was after!

Still chasing a new personal record I signed up for Berlin Marathon 2010 (Berlin is supposed to be a fast course). Yeah – and then I got cancer!

Yep, I have only once managed to make it to a marathon without incident – and apart from once it has been totally outside my control! So you’ll understand my philosophy that actually standing on the start line is as much of an achievement as completing the marathon!

This time round a personal record is out of the question so my primary goal has simply been to make it to the start line without injury or illness, my secondary goal to complete the marathon and have a good experience and at the same time raise some money for charity. So last Thursday when I injured my left Achilles tendon, I wasn’t in any doubt that I should drop out of Etape Bornholm and stop running until I got some expert advice. I saw the physiotherapist on Tuesday and he said I had probably saved the day by doing that and reckons I should be back to normal training within a couple of weeks. Phew – what a relief! In the meantime he prescribed 3 x 20 mins running per week topped with unlimited alternative training plus some exercises for my Achilles. Yesterday I didn’t have any pain at all when I ran so things are looking good!

In the meantime I am now 100 kr away from the halfway mark for my fundraising goal! If you would like to be the one to tip it over halfway, then click here: http://www.betternow.org/en/projectskirstenejlskov

From chemo to Berlin marathon – July update

I’m just back from two very relaxing weeks’ holiday on the Danish island of Bornholm. OK, relaxing probably means different things to different people and many of you probably don’t think it is particularly relaxing to participate in a 5 day stage race during your holidays! However, Etape Bornholm is something special – the distance of a marathon, but run in 5 stages over 5 days at different locations on the island, including stages in the forest, on the beach, up hills and on flat roads.  For me the biggest challenge was running on 5 consecutive days – I never normally run more than 2 days consecutively and then usually one of them is an “easy” run. It was a challenge I actually didn’t manage to meet as I ended up dropping out before the final stage because my left Achilles tendon started to complain – so I’ll just have to go back and do it again another time! Regardless of that I can easily say that it was one of the best running experiences of my life: well organised and beautiful routes, and for some reason I was feeling great! Each stage is between 5 and 10 km, which aren’t my favourite distances, the pace is too fast so it hurts! Normally I spend races of that length longing to see the next km marker and arguing with a voice in my head that is telling me to stop and walk. Only this time that didn’t happen - each evening I got into a great flow and lost track of how far I had run, even though I can see from my watch that it wasn’t because I was taking it any easier than I normally would. I have a theory that my body had to put up with so many horrible and uncomfortable things last year, that anything else is a piece of cake now!

 Generally I haven’t been home much in July. As the month opened I was on holiday in Scotland visiting my family and friends there for the first time since before I was ill. I was also in New York for a few days for work, where I got in a few early morning runs in Central Park. I always love running in Central Park – there are so many people, even at 6am, the paths are like some kind of runners’ motorway – very different from the forests near where I live where I can run for ages without seeing another soul!

Travelling certainly hasn’t held me back from running then, as confirmed by this month’s statistics. The distance is looking good, but I’m not quite sure what the reason is for the rather slow average pace. Certainly all the beach and hill running on Bornholm last week resulted in a rather slow overall pace and the trip to/from New York probably took its toll too, plus since I haven’t been home I haven’t been doing my speedy track sessions. Whatever it is, I don’t believe that it is because my fitness is declining – at least I hope not!

Month	#km	Average pace min/km	Comments
April 2010	132	5:07	Typical month pre-cancer treatment
October 2010	88	5:54	Last chemo on 18 Oct.
November 2010	100	5:46	First radiotherapy 15 Nov.
December 2010	49	6:08	Last radiotherapy 8 Dec.
January 2011	100	5:53
February 2011	103	5:44
March 2011	47	5:43	Injured!
April 2011	113	5:27
May 2011	98	5:32
June 2011	147	5:17
July 2011	172	5:37

 Only 8 weeks to go now until Berlin marathon, so I also need to step up the pace a bit on the fundraising. Thanks a million to those of you who have already supported my efforts. If you haven’t done so yet, you can donate here: http://www.betternow.org/en/projectskirstenejlskov (and do feel free to spread the word to your friends and family!).

 

From chemo to Berlin marathon – June update

Per Larsen Copenhagen Marathon 2011

I saw an interview with Per Larsen on a chat show the other night – what an inspiring guy! For the non-Danish readers, Per Larsen was the Chief of Police in Copenhagen until he retired in 2010. He is also a cancer survivor and a runner, having run 19 marathons with the 20^th planned for later this year. Those facts are pretty inspiring in their own right; however it was his attitude in the interview that really thrilled me. He exuded happiness and an enormous appetite for life and described how he now lives in the moment, does not dwell on the past and only makes plans for the future to the minimum extent necessary. He also described how he has lost his tolerance for “complainers” which made me laugh, because it is something I have been struggling with myself! I smiled throughout his interview because it was as if he was describing how I am feeling! And it gave me hope that this feeling will last, since he his cancer was longer ago than mine.

The funny thing is that I know that not all cancer survivors feel this way – some people really struggle to get over it and rebuild a new life afterwards – and I’ve been wondering what makes the difference between those like Per Larsen and me, and the others. I suspect part of it is to do with personality, I don’t know Per Larsen, but I have been blessed with a naturally positive and optimistic personality which is definitely a huge advantage. However, I can’t help thinking that the running also plays a part. In another interview with Per Larsen he mentions two aspects of running that he believes have helped him. One is the fact that when you are running you work through and process your thoughts and feelings, and secondly that setting yourself running goals gets you back on your feet more quickly afterwards.  Those are psychological aspects, but research suggests that regular exercise can help against depression possibly through promoting the release of chemicals such as endorphins, so I suspect that this is another factor.

Well, I definitely believe that setting myself the goal of running Berlin marathon this September has been one of the main factors for me feeling as well as I do these days – for all the reasons I mention above. My training has gone well in June as illustrated below.

Month	#km	Average pace min/km	Comments
April 2010	132	5:07	Typical month pre-cancer treatment
October 2010	88	5:54	Last chemo on 18 Oct.
November 2010	100	5:46	First radiotherapy 15 Nov.
December 2010	49	6:08	Last radiotherapy 8 Dec.
January 2011	100	5:53
February 2011	103	5:44
March 2011	47	5:43	Injured!
April 2011	113	5:27
May 2011	98	5:32
June 2011	147	5:17	Happy!

 I should probably qualify the numbers a bit. If I compare to a typical “3 months before a marathon” month, I’m pretty much on track in terms of mileage, but I typically would be running a bit faster on average at this point – I reckon I’m still about 20 s/km slower than “normal”. The progress since December speaks for itself though so I’m very happy with how it is going! Even better I’m enjoying my running more than I usually do at this stage pre-marathon. I’m training hard and am very focused, but I’m also much better than I’ve ever been at enjoying my runs and achieving flow.