Half Way….

August 22, 2010

Friday was blood test day and this time I went off quite confident that it was going to be OK, only to find out that my white blood cell count was again very low. Obviously my white blood cell count detector doesn’t work properly! However, my Doctor consulted with his big boss and they decided to take the chance and go ahead with my chemo on Monday. It means, though, that I need to be even more paranoid than usual about avoiding infections etc which isn’t that easy since my husband has gone down with a cold. There’s nothing to do about it except keep my distance, frequent hand washing all around and gallons of hand disinfectant being splashed around the place. And so far so good!

Monday will be chemo #5, so today I am half way through my chemo hell. A lot of people have mentioned this to me as being a source of good cheer, and if you are one of them I apologise for not being as upbeat about it as you probably were expecting. I am usually a “cup half full” kind of person, but I’m struggling on this one. Instead of feeling “wow I’m halfway” I’m actually feeling “good grief, I’m only halfway”…. I can’t help it. The last two months have been awful AND interminable. It’s hard to be enthusiastic about having to go through as much again.

Before I go for my chemo tomorrow I first have to go for a PET/CT scan. I had one of these at the diagnosis stage and this one mid-way is to see if the treatment is working as intended – so fingers crossed! I guess I won’t get the results until my next Doctor consultation though, but will keep you posted. The worst thing about having a PET/CT scan is that you need to lie completely still for ages. To start with you get a radioactive drug injected into your arm and then you have to lie still for an hour while it spreads through your body. The last time I went armed with my iPod and a book, but nope, that’s not allowed…. you have to lie completely motionless and listen to their piped new age “relaxing” music. Then you have to go into the scanner room (after downing a half-litre of water with contrast fluid in it) and have to lie still on the scanner with your hands over your head for about another 45 minutes during the scan (oh and they inject you with some other radioactive stuff at this point in case you haven’t had enough already!). This part is really unpleasant because you get moved back and forward inside the scanner in some kind of random pattern which is very claustrophobic. I’m normally not claustrophobic but had to work hard not to panic the last time.  Mind you, I suspect all this lying still for ages will be a bit easier this time, now that I have turned into a chemo-zombie!

So it’s going to be quite a day tomorrow being injected with all this radioactive stuff and then my chemo cocktail afterwards!


One Response to “Half Way….”

  1. Good luck tomorrow – hope they’re not to rough on you. Fingers crossed for the scan results.

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