Kirsten’s Cavalcade 2013

December 30, 2013

Ironman!

Ironman!

I’m not sure whether it is the constant stream of ”2013 highlights” around at the moment or whether it’s just normal at this time of year, but I too have found myself reflecting on my year just-about-gone. And I’m not short of highlights to pick from this year. Kirsten’s Cavalcade 2013 features, of course, an Ironman and New York marathon, but also up high on the list is Etape Bornholm in July. Not just because I snapped up the second place in my age group, but because it is one of the best running events I have ever participated in (I recommend it if you haven’t tried it) and this year the weather definitely contributed, as did the fact that my husband ran too. But my sporting highlights aren’t limited to “events”. This was the year where my relationship with Open Water (OW) swimming started – a truly turbulent, passionate relationship with the low of dropping out of my first OW triathlon with a panic attack, and the high of swimming 3.8 km (twice) and enjoying it! I suspect that it will continue to be a stormy, but hopefully lifelong relationship! Then there was my cycling trip to Majorca where I discovered that I love cycling up mountains in the sunshine! And I can’t leave off the list that feeling of being in peak physical condition which only happens when you manage, for a sustained period of time, to hit the right balance between pushing yourself to the limit, but not tipping over into exhaustion and injury. I hit that point in the run up to the Ironman, just a few weeks before my 50th birthday!

With my beautiful daughter

With my beautiful daughter

Not all my highlights this year have been about exercise though. It’s not that often that my family manages to get together since some of us are in Scotland, some in London and we are here. This year though we managed to all get together twice – in the spring for my daughters confirmation and in the autumn for my Mum’s 80th birthday. Special times with my most special people. And then there are friends. Great times spent with “old” friends, but also a bunch of new friends this year! And related to that, I am both proud and humble to have become Vice-Chair of PACT, a sports association for cancer survivors and a group of the most fun, lovely and inspiring people you ever could imagine. And believe it or not, I have actually done some work this year too, including one of the most interesting projects of my career to date – in Indonesia.

Yes, it’s been quite a year: but as I was running through this list of highlights it struck me that the ABSOLUTE highlight is that in 2013 I lived my life exactly the way I dreamed of living my life when I decided to leave the security of a “proper” job and take my chances as a freelancer. My ambition wasn’t just to have better “work-life balance” – an expression that never really made sense to me as it seems to kind of already assume that there is “work” on one side of the scale and “everything else lumped together” on the other side in some kind of even match. Rather I wanted to scrub out those artificial lines altogether and spend time on projects and activities that I’m passionate about, enjoy and that give me energy, ideally along with people that inspire me and give me energy. And that has been the essence of my 2013.

So with that, I wish you a very happy New Year where you have the opportunity to spend as much of your time as possible doing things that you love and that give you energy, together with people who inspire you.

New York marathon 2013 more than lived up to my expectations!

Running a marathon is always emotional (at least it is for me), but there’s something particular about New York that pushes all the emotional buttons. It starts with Frank Sinatra’s New York, New York blasting out from the speakers as we stand in excited anticipation waiting for the starting gun. Then there’s the first kilometer climbing to the course’s highest point on the Verazzano-Narrows Bridge with a view to Manhattan in the distance and NYPD helicopters hovering at our side, like a scene from a movie. Then the streets lined with screaming spectators and bands and DJs playing all along the route. I’ll spare you the details of the most disgusting toilet I’ve ever had the misfortune to use in my whole life which provoked an entirely different kind of emotion! Soon forgotten thanks to the sight of runners competing despite various physical disabilities and or those fighting to keep going while suffering what looks like their life’s biggest battle. Then there’s the silence as we cross the Queensboro Bridge until we near the Manhattan end when a low noise starts, gradually getting louder and louder until it erupts into deafening cheering. The wonderful sight of my two absolute biggest supporters, husband Erik, and coach Bjarke, standing together on First Avenue. Then the final couple of kilometres through Central Park, the amazing sight of the finishing line, not to mention the incredible relief at being able to stop running once it’s crossed. I had a lump in my throat for the first 5 km and the last 2 km and the tears were close most of the time in between.

Running a marathon is also always hard (at least it is for me), and there’s also something particular abut New York that makes it really hard: the hills! I had forgotten how hilly it actually is. Or perhaps I was just so locked inside my own misery last time that I didn’t notice them. I noticed them this time!

 

NY Marathon altitude profile

NY Marathon altitude profile

 

I started out at my planned pace, but after a while realised that I wasn’t going to be able to sustain it so turned it down a notch and pretty much held the new tempo the rest of the way, though it was hard at the end! I was thankful that my goal was to have a good experience rather than a particular time. The latter would have made me press on for much longer, it would have been miserable and I probably wouldn’t have crossed the finish line sooner. As it was, it was hard, but in a good way. I didn’t hit the wall or have a crisis and when I finished I felt that I had given it my best. My finish time was 3:52:59.544129_10201242056347222_1647278478_n

In the aftermath I’m left with a feeling that at very long last, in terms of running and physical fitness, I’m at least back to where I would have been had I not had cancer. Of course I don’t know how I would have developed as a runner if it hadn’t happened, but I don’t think I would be running much faster at any distance, including marathon, than I have done this season. I never expected that it would take me three years, and along the way I have doubted that it was going to happen. So it’s a big deal!

Somehow it is very fitting that it was running New York marathon that got me to that point since New York was that last marathon I ran just a few months before I got my cancer diagnosis. From now on I am no longer a runner trying to get back in shape after cancer. I’m just a runner.

New York, New York

October 28, 2013

In less than a week I’ll be running New York Marathon. New York is probably the most famous marathon and with around 47,000 runners, I think it’s the biggest. It has the reputation for being a fantastic experience, not least because of the thousands and thousands of fantastic spectators lining the route.

This will be my second time running NY marathon and things are certainly a lot different this time around!

2009
The last time was in November 2009. It was my second marathon ever and I was very focused on running a good time – or at least a better time than my first marathon 18 months before. Objectively speaking I was in good shape and it should have been possible if things had gone according to plan. But that’s the thing about marathons. There are so many variables, many of which you have no control over. I managed to pick up a stomach bug 3 weeks before the marathon and that mutated into a lung infection with a course of antibiotics which finished only a couple of days before the marathon. But the flights to New York were booked so off we went although 2 days before I was still in doubt about whether I was well enough to run. The day before I decided to go for it: mainly because I wasn’t sure I would ever have the chance to run New York marathon again and after all, how bad could it be???

Well, the answer turned out to be: really bad! Sometimes when you run you just have a bad day and if it’s a normal training run you decide to shorten your run, or head home. Believe me, if you already realise after the first km that this isn’t your day, then 42.2 km is a really long way! I hoped that I would feel better after 5 km: I didn’t, but I kept on going. I sort of managed to keep it together for the first half, but after that it was truly awful. To be honest the only reason I didn’t drop out was that the thought of the effort of trying to get back to my hotel by any other means just seemed so overwhelming that it seemed like the lesser of two evils just to keep going.

NY 2009. Glad to be finished!

NY 2009. Glad to be finished!

When I finally crossed the finish line I didn’t have any of the usual euphoria over having done it, I just felt really glad that it was over! Later, when I had time to absorb it all, I felt (1) Really disappointed by my time (3:49 when I had been aiming for under 3:30) and (2) Cheated of the “NY marathon experience”.

 

2013
When I was given the opportunity to run in this year’s NY marathon it seemed like the perfect second chance to have that “NY marathon experience”. My main goal this year was the Ironman, so running a marathon at this point is mostly just for fun, riding on the form that I’ve built up over the summer. This time I don’t have a time goal. I have a start pace in mind so I don’t go off too fast, but once I find my pace, my plan is to run on feeling and focus on having fun without my eyes on my watch.

The thing is this, that in the four years that have passed I might not have become a better runner in terms of speed, but I do believe I have become a better runner in terms of the running process. With the benefit of hindsight I can see that I cheated myself of the experience last time around. I was so fixated on running a specific time that, when things started going off course when I got ill, I got stressed and started doubting myself. With that mental state up to the race of course it ended as a bad experience. If I had instead accepted that everything wasn’t perfect, I could have relaxed and taken easy and I believe I would then have had a good experience despite not having good running legs on the day. In other words, I have learned that if you think it’s going to be hard, it will be hard. But if you decide it’s going to be fun, then it will be fun!

So this Sunday I’m going to have a great day. I’m going to soak up the atmosphere, and enjoy the weird and wonderful sights, sounds and smells for however long it takes me to get to that finish line in Central Park!

Tune in again next week and find out if I reach my goal!